Mothers Day as a Birth Mum – May 2012

I  wasn’t Natasha’s mum. I really am “THE BIRTH MUM”. So  i have come to accept that after 13 years i am still finding my place.

As a Birth Mum this is another day that effects us. Mothers Day. Every year after Tash was born i would say quietly to myself. “Happy Mother’s Day Viv”. I wonder what she is giving her mum today. I wonder what she is doing. I wonder if she is happy.

For the children whom are adopted and wonder if your mothers ever think of you. I can guarantee that they do every time it is Easter, Mothers Day, Your Birthday, Our birthday and Christmas just to name the times we are literally forced to think of you, not to mention the times we bump into a child your age at that time and are left wondering, or when we are at a shopping centre and see other mothers with children about the same age you would be at that moment or when visiting friends and family that have had children that would now be your age. So many times, so many times.

Most times it will be silent thoughts, non spoken but deep and true thoughts. If you have never contacted your birth mum and i know you stop and think and ask yourself “Does she ever even think or care about me? I believe in my heart, 99% honestly do. It’s how we deal with it as individuals is when you get a different result.

I know there are Birth Mums that do not want to have contact with the adopted Child. I believe it is not that she doesn’t care about you, but that the Birth Mother has been so hurt from loosing you that to be a part of your life can be just as painful because we are forced to face all those emotions all over again. IT IS NOT PRETTY I CAN TELL YOU.

Why is it, that the Birth Mother is always the afterthought? A singlemother in my generation was frowned upon, bought shame, a fluzy, a slut. Hang on a minute. Aren’t we the ones that have done one of the most wonderful things that a human being can do. GIVE UP OUR BABY to someone else just so they can have a better life. Just because society forces us to. So i ask you, why were we to be punished?

Mothers Day – God bless all those women and young girls who have given birth, and to the Birth Mothers who have  given up their babies to enrich other peoples lives so they can be blessed and have a lifetime of mothers days and also God bless those mothers who have had to deal with infant death.

Mothers Day is a happy celebration for most but spare a thought for those with much silent sadness.

Mothers Day – Happy Mothers Day.

Advertisements