Well literally one sunny day, business as usual, kids playing in the back yard as i was waiting for Peter to come home from work when the phone rang. I answered, only to hear a young girl ask to speak to Vivienne Gittens. I said this is me. She said to me that she thought i was her birth mother. I stood in complete silence. Thinking someone was playing a joke on me but no one really knew who could this be? I asked how she got my number and she said that she received a letter in the mail from the government with my Maiden name “Gittens” and she knew that she was born in Brisbane so picked a name in the white pages and gave it a call. Within 4 hours of getting my name she was speaking to her Birthmother. Fancy that. Natasha had actually spoken to her Great Grandmother Gittens who advised her that i was now married and freely gave her my number. Grandma Gittens had no idea she was speaking to her great granddaughter. Ok so now this is feeling serious. I actually started to laugh continuously from nerves I must tell you. Then I remember thinking O MY GOD what am i going to tell Peter and the kids. SHIT no one knows, what am I going to do????? I asked Natasha to hang up and that i would call her back. I had to really think about what to do next. I had a decision to make.
I talked to a few of my closest friends at that time to get their advice on how I should tell Peter. Is he going to hate me, will he get angry, hell I was just numb. I could keep talking to her behind his back but I didn’t want to do that. OK let’s go back in time a little, Peter and I have known each other since high school. After school we hung out with the same group of people but were never a couple. I was living in Airlie Beach 1985-86 at the age of 21 when we got together; we got married in 1991 then gave birth to Ayrlie Rae in 1993 then Liam in 1996. When we were living in Airlie Beach we were drunk as skunks when I decided to tell Peter that I had given a baby up for adoption. All i remember is him cracking off, not about having a baby but about giving her up. The next morning all i could think of was the relationship would be off or he doesn’t remember. Turns out he didn’t remember. I was so nervous about talking about it again that I never said another word until now.
Well Peter didn’t take my news to well and didn’t talk to me for 2 months. You see, he wanted to marry a women that didn’t have anyone else’s babies only his. I guess looking at me that was the package that he was given. Well he never told me that so how should I know. Peter also doesn’t believe in abortion so i said to him if i had of had an abortion than things would be better then. That was to hard to get his head around. After being pushed aside for 2 months i said to him that I am a good person, a good mother and that i haven’t done anything wrong. If he can’t support me through this than i would leave. We said when we got married that we would be together for better or worse and that we would grow old together what happened to that. After many a conversation and questions to answer we did work things out. Peter has been able to share the journey and experiences with us all as a family. THANK GOD FOR THAT.
Back to the phone call. Well for many days and hours after we talked and talked and talked. There were 2 questions that stand out that she asked me and that was
1. Are you catholic? (NO)
2. Do you know who my father is? (Yes)
My first questions to her were
- Have you had a baby (I didn’t want her to carry on tradition) her answer (NO),
- What colour eyes do you have? Bright blue with a dark circle around them (just like me)
- Are you short (yes) Just like me.
- Where do you live? Dubbo, where the hell is that. Bloody miles away.
It was a good while after that we decided to meet for the first time. In the flesh. Natasha was driving to Queensland to meet me. I’m nervous as all hell. Is this really happening. We decided to meet in Queens Park, Ipswich which is the photo of us you see as my header. I was 35 she was 18. I was on my own with no kids or Peter. That day changed my life forever.
In the park we just kept looking at each other. We put our hands together and noticed that the lines were almost identical. Our feet are the same size and we both have a bobbly big toe on each foot and our little toes don’t have much toe nail at all. We have the same hair, same shape body with the same bum (sway back). She curses me to this very day about that ha ha ha. To this very day we like to trick everyone and pretend to be each other on the phone, We walk the same, we talk the same and stand the same. Incredible when you think about it as i had no influence on her life at all for 18 years, genetics are truly amazing. I also got the pleasure of meeting her Mother (Sandra). I could not have wished for a better mother. We ended up talking for just as many hours as Natasha. Turns out that Natasha’s Adoptive Father Bruce (who was waiting nervously in Dubbo as he didn’t make this trip) couldn’t have children but Sandra could. Bruce wasn’t keen on IVF as he wanted them to have a child that was neither theirs. I totally understand that, it would be hard watching your wife carry a baby from someone else’s sperm. 6 weeks after Natasha was born they were blessed with her. Sandra presented me with a scrap book that she had made for me with pictures from the day Bruce and Sandra brought her home till the day i meet her in the park. It still gives me goose bumps just talking about it. This goes to show you the kind of people Sandra and Bruce were. They were offered another baby but declined as they were so thankful to have one baby that they didn’t want to be greedy and wanted another family to enjoy the gift of a child like they did as it took them 10 years to get her. Natasha was raised as an only child (spoilt as well).
The next thing she wanted to know was about her birth father and how i got pregnant. Well that’s a story in itself as i fell pregnant without having sex, yes you heard correct, didn’t have sex. Just call me Mary ha ha. I will leave you to ponder that thought, till i write again. Vivienne.